Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
