My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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