But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
