hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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