Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
