From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
