but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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