Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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