Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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