I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize