Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
All I want is dick and wine.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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