i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
ok first of all what the fuck
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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