Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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