How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
