It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
