'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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