Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
