She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
