I want to have your abortion
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
