do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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