why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
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he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
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... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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