sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
