i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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