Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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