I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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