I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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