It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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