It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
