I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
