We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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