Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
