Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
