I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize