You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
