For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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