we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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