i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
