I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
In other news, I just burned my penis
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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