So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
