There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
