Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
