Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
These tits shall not be calmed
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
