Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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