When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
