So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
