and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
