she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
