He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
