Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
