i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
