How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
