i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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