I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
