gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
