I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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