I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
