exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
