I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
