I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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