I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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