He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
