I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize