MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
As shirtless as possible
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
