im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
