singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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