im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize