Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
