we made out on top of his cat.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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