All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
