I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
