maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
