The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
