How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
