Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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