hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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