pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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