Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
