I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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